On this eve of Synergy’s 7th Anniversary, I feel more strongly tied to our mission than ever. This year we celebrated in the same way that we opened, with a Yoga Studio Open House. I was struck by how similar the excitement felt, yet grieved that my Mom was not here to celebrate. She passed away just over 3 months ago, and for those who share this experience, the loss is profound. Without my Mom, there would be no Synergy Wellness Center. She supported me in ways seen and unseen, and Synergy owes its existence to her generous spirit.
At the end of May, it was the privilege of my life to usher my Mom on her journey to eternal peace. She came to live with us during what came to be the last year of her life. In our story, it took 9 months to birth and release one another on the path into and out of living in our bodies. As each other’s caregivers, we gratefully learned love, healing and peace. This life altering experience cemented and gave even greater meaning to my mission for Synergy, that of strengthening and supporting personal and professional caregivers, as far as our arms can reach.
My Mom, Judith, was diagnosed with a rare type of lymphoma at age 86, and she survived 5 years until the age of 91. She was beloved by her doctors and caregivers, and her charm and relentless desire to always be interesting made her a fascinating person to be around. She was a person of culture and intellect, and I dearly miss our jaunts to cafes, museums, live music venues, ballets and musicals. She was a force and I am blessed to have been her daughter.
As caregivers, let us not underestimate the importance of self-care. Caregiver fatigue is real. When I read about caregiver fatigue to prepare for what lay ahead, I was certain it would not happen to me. I have boundless energy and stamina, so I thought.
You learn fast who your team is in terms of family, friends and professionals, and that it is okay to lean into them. My husband, son, sister, stepmom, uncle, cousins and best friend held me up, close friends and neighbors checked in and offered meals, coffees and walks, professional caregivers provided respite, and my Synergy team was strong and ever present.
During this journey, I looked to Synergy for support. Our practitioners, teachers and staff helped preserve me for this mission. They provided their gifts, talents and space for me to take yoga classes to breathe into the moment, attend sound baths to soothe my nervous system, receive acupuncture to manage the shifting hormones and stress, and massages and Reiki sessions to ease the tension and knot that had developed down my entire back. My decades long on and off therapist from outside of Synergy was a regular, wise and compassionate sounding board.
These treasured people were my anchors, tethering me as extensions of my Mom’s caregiving team. The capacity to continue on the most difficult days was sustained by the strength that Synergy’s professionals extended to me, and of course from family, friends and professionals in our circle and home. I say this to you because there is not a single soul in my world who is not a caregiver, whether it be of children, parents, relatives, neighbors. coworkers, pets, and themselves. When the going gets tough, gather your team, call on them, share with them, and thank them.
For those of us who pride ourselves on individualism, perfectionism and resilience, sometimes we do need to call in the cavalry. It does not mean you are weak, in fact it is a display of strength, to know one’s limits and to courageously call on others for support. At Synergy we know how much courage it can take to make that initial call for counseling or acupuncture for example. You may feel that you have tried everything, on your own, or with others, and just need more. We understand and we see you.
Thank you to my Mom for showing me how to care for you and myself, thank you to my loved ones for your kindness and concern, to my husband and son for the compassion and humor your shared with her, and to the Synergy team for providing shelter in the storm and for healing my invisible wounds along the way. It continues to be my life’s mission and privilege to lead Synergy’s team who so graciously serve our community. They are all in relationship with others as caregivers themselves. We are truly grateful for your trust in us, and are here for you when the sun shines and when storms arise, always.